Mother-in-law tells daughter-in-law that she is way out of her son's league, his whole family agrees: 'My husband has been pretending it didn’t bother him, but he’s already self-conscious about his looks, and this made it worse.'

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  • A couple who are offended by the cruel comments his family makes about his appearance compared to hers.
  • My husband’s mom told him I’m way out of his league at dinner and his whole family agreed.

    1 25f married my 26m husband about 8 months ago and have been with him for almost 3 years. We went to dinner at his parent's house and while we were eating his mom suddenly went "I love you very much,
  • but she (meaning me) is way out of your league." She said it so rudely and I could tell she really meant it. I was appalled, but my husband simply said ya you're right and the rest of the family nodded in agreement. I
  • A family gathers for dinner, discussing in detail their son's appearance compared to his wife's, whom they find more attractive.
  • told them I disagreed and that he was actually out of my league, but everyone laughed and brushed me off. My husband has been pretending it didn't bother him, but I can tell it did. He's
  • already self conscious about his looks and it seems like this made it worse. I find him extremely attractive and really don't think I'm very attractive so if anything he's out of my league. This isn't the first time one of them has said
  • something along these lines, but it is the first time it was said so blatantly. I don't want to stir drama in his family and he told me to drop it, but I still feel like I should do or say something. Should I? Or
  • should I wait until it happens again and say something then? If I do say something what would I say to make them take me seriously without ruining the relationship with them?
  • AccomplishedChart873 He doesn't want to talk about it more so I would just often, but very casually, remind him how attractive you find him. We often don't see ourselves the way our significant other sees us.
  • Shot_Imagination_564 OP Thank you this is great advice and is probably what I'll end up doing!
  • MerakDubhe Bonus tip: make it specific. Not just "you're so attractive", but appreciate his features. His smile, his eyes, his hands, any part of him that you adore.
  • A man's eyes, which he would appreciate a compliment about from his partner, instead of a generic compliment.
  • Plane_Arachnid6182 Ah parents, killing self esteem since the big bang
  • Relevant_Owl_3519 I'd wait until it happens again, but I wouldn't let it slide a second time. Something calm like: *"I'd appreciate it if we stopped making comments about who's 'out of whose league.' I married him because I love him, respect him, and I'm incredibly attracted to him. Jokes like that aren't funny, they just put him down, and I'd rather we not make those comments anymore."* It keeps the focus on how the comment affects your husband instead of attacking his family, which makes it mu
  • majestic7 "We are a perfect match actually"
  • Voodoopulse My wife's out of my league as well. I think it's down to her eye sight issues.
  • lydocia That's a man who has been shon all his life and got used to it. It's heartbreaking. You can lay it out for him and express that he is fantastic and should never feel like he doesn't deserve you or the best in life. See marriage as your commitment to build him up and tell him every day. Don't even involve his family. As his self esteem grows, he will see it for himself. Encourage him to seek therapy once he realises it.
  • Unable_To_Forward My dad has been telling my wife she is out of my league for 25 years. Usually followed up by telling my mom she is out of his league. Probably a non-malicious joke without further info.

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